When two strangers begin life together, each moment becomes discovery. Morning reveals this person takes sugar in tea, hums songs in the afternoon, reads before sleep. Every habit, every quirk arrives like newfound treasure.

In love marriages, we’ve already learned all secrets, catalogued all habits. Post-wedding life becomes repetition of familiar stories. But arranged marriage unfolds as a slow novel, each chapter bringing surprise.

Expectation’s psychology proves strange. We feel miserable receiving less than desired, joyful receiving more. Love marriages set expectations at cinematic heights—hero-heroine perfection. Arranged marriages expect neighbor-uncle-aunty normalcy.

People marry for love believing their partner perfect. When imperfections surface, it feels like betrayal. In arranged marriages, we know our partner is flawed human. We discover their goodness as bonus.

Happiness research speaks of hedonic adaptation—we adjust to any circumstance. But starting with lower expectations makes adaptation easier.

Arranged spouses consciously choose cohabitation, consciously grow love. This becomes deliberate act of will. Love marriages assume love automatically sustains itself. When it doesn’t, something seems wrong.

The distinction between companionate and passionate love proves crucial. Passionate love burns intense but temporary. Companionate love flows gentle but enduring. Arranged marriages expect companionate love—passionate love becomes jackpot. Love marriages expect passionate love—settling for companionate feels disappointing.

What humans actually need for happiness—mutual respect, shared values, similar life goals, compatible lifestyles—gets deliberately checked in arranged marriages. Love marriages assume chemistry automatically provides these elements.

Most importantly: happiness is choice, practice. Not automatic. Arranged couples know they must create happiness. Love marriages often expect happiness to arrive naturally.

Perhaps successful marriage’s secret formula: expect less, express more gratitude, consciously build love.