Fever
I woke Happy. Told her to go to bed. I’ll stay through the night. Every time his breath paused, mine paused too. I watched him.
December 2025
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Homesick for Nowhere
How do you explain homesickness for a place that doesn’t exist? “Like I’m missing somewhere. But I don’t know where.” She sat beside me. “The nowhere feeling?” “You know it?” “Everyone knows it. We just don’t talk about it.”
December 2025
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Before Dawn
“We learned in school that we’re made from stars. Is that true?” he asked. Yes, I said. My son looked at his hand. We are made of stars and still we don’t know.
December 2025
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Mystery is Home
For thirty-something years, I’ve been treating mystery like a problem that needs solving. Every big question—about God, about life, about death—I approached like a puzzle. But sitting there, looking at Arash’s face, I realized: I don’t know. And that felt like relief.
December 2025
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Order and Chaos
Happy was reorganizing the bookshelf again. I watched from the doorway as she pulled every book out, sorted them by size, then changed her mind and sorted by color. Our small Dhaka apartment was a testament to her need for order. Yet our best conversations never happened in this carefully maintained control and chaos—they happened when the power went out and we sat in the dark
November 2025
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Alone at 3 AM
But inside this moment, Karim felt completely, impossibly alone. Not lonely because his family was absent. Lonely because he was awake and conscious.
November 2025
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Between Fears
And now? Now he earned more in a month than his father had in a year. Should have felt like victory. Instead felt like betrayal. Between two fears, he couldn’t fully embrace either poverty’s virtue or wealth’s obvious comfort.
November 2025
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Prayer and Doubt
An elderly man asked me: “I’ve been praying for forty years for Allah to show me my purpose. What if He answers, and I don’t like what He tells me?” His fear of getting answers was mine too.
November 2025
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Fear of Answers
We tell ourselves we want answers. But buried beneath our seeking is a darker truth—we’re often more comfortable with the mystery than with revelation.
November 2025
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Mirrors and Windows
I had been treating other people like mirrors, and when they failed to reflect me back to myself, I’d assumed the problem was with the mirror. But people aren’t mirrors. They’re windows
November 2025
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