What Schools Never Taught
I pretend to understand compound interest while drowning in financial decisions no curriculum ever covered.
The bank officer explains mortgage options. Interest rates. Principal payments. Amortization schedules. I nod. Pretend understanding. Sign papers. Have no idea what I agreed to.
Twelve years of education. Mathematics every year. Algebra. Geometry. Calculus. But nobody taught me about loans. Interest. Mortgages. Real financial decisions.
The embarrassment stings deeper than mere ignorance. It’s shame about educational gaps that feel like personal failures.
“I’m so bad with money,” I say. Apologizing. Like it’s my fault. Like I failed to learn what was taught. But it wasn’t taught. Never taught. Nobody ever explained compound interest, credit cards, retirement savings.
Tax preparation? Complete mystery. Hire someone. Pay them. Hope they’re honest. Because I have no idea how taxes work. Despite twelve years of education.
Relationship communication? Trial and error. Painful trial. Costly error. Books help. Therapy helps. YouTube helps. School? Never mentioned it.
Mental health management? Recognize depression three years too late. Learn warning signs after damage done. Wish someone had taught me earlier. But schools taught sonnets instead.
We apologize for not knowing what schools never taught. “I’m terrible with money” becomes self-criticism rather than curriculum critique.
Why do we blame ourselves? System failed us. Didn’t teach essential skills. But we internalize failure. “I should know this.” “Everyone else understands this.” “Something’s wrong with me.”
Nothing wrong with us. Everything wrong with education that prioritizes irrelevant knowledge over essential skills.
Adult illiteracy in practical matters gets blamed on personal inadequacy instead of institutional oversight.
Can’t negotiate salary? “I’m just not good at that.” Never taught negotiation. Never practiced. Never told it’s okay to ask for more.
Can’t maintain friendships? “I’m bad at relationships.” Never taught communication skills. Conflict resolution. Emotional intelligence. Just expected to figure it out.
Can’t recognize manipulation? “I’m too naive.” Never taught warning signs. Red flags. How people control others. Left vulnerable.
The school system taught me to analyze Shakespearean sonnets but not read insurance policies.
Insurance policies determine financial security. Life insurance. Health insurance. Property insurance. Complex documents. Legal language. Critical decisions.
Shakespeare’s sonnets? Beautiful. Cultural. But not essential for daily life. Yet mandatory study. While insurance? Optional at best.
I can identify historical dates but not warning signs of depression.
Know when World War I started. When Pakistan separated. When independence happened. Dates memorized. Tested repeatedly.
But signs of depression? Learned after my friend attempted suicide. Learned too late. Wish someone had taught me earlier. But history dates were priority.
Geography lessons covered distant continents while neglecting the emotional terrain of human relationships.
Can locate countries on maps. Name capitals. Identify rivers. Mountains. Geographical features.
But emotional terrain? How to support grieving friend. How to express feelings. How to listen actively. How to maintain connection. Never mapped. Never taught.
Society expects competence in subjects never formally addressed.
How to negotiate salaries. Expected to know. But never taught. Trial by fire. Make mistakes. Learn expensively.
How to maintain friendships. Expected competence. But never instructed. Some figure it out. Others struggle. All alone.
How to recognize manipulation. Should know. For safety. For protection. But never warned. Never educated. Left vulnerable.
How to process grief. Everyone experiences loss. But nobody teaches coping. Support systems. Healthy grief. Just expected to manage.
Knowledge acquired through painful trial rather than structured instruction. Every lesson costs. Emotionally. Financially. Relationally. Could have been taught. Should have been taught. Wasn’t taught.
My son is in school now. Ninth grade. Learning algebra. History. Literature. Same curriculum I studied. Same irrelevant priorities.
I ask him: “Do they teach you about money?”
“No.”
“About relationships?”
“No.”
“About mental health?”
“No.”
“What do they teach?”
“Equations. Dates. Poems.”
Same pattern. Same failures. New generation. Same gaps. System unchanged.
I try supplementing. Teaching him myself. Financial literacy. Emotional intelligence. Life skills schools ignore.
But I’m learning as I teach. Making up for my own gaps. YouTube tutorials. Self-help books. Learning what I should have learned decades ago.
Tonight I forgive myself for ignorance about things I was never taught. Not my fault. Not personal failure. Institutional failure. System that prioritizes wrong things.
Choosing learning over shame. Better to learn now than never. Better to admit gaps than pretend competence. Better to grow than stay embarrassed.
Education over embarrassment. The shame isn’t mine. Belongs to system that failed me. Failed all of us. Continues failing new students.
My friend Salma is accountant. Helps me with taxes. I’m embarrassed needing help. “Everyone knows this stuff,” I say.
She laughs. “Nobody knows this. I studied it specifically. Most people hire help. You’re not stupid. System didn’t teach you.”
Revelation. I’m not alone. Everyone struggles. Everyone has gaps. System created these gaps. Not personal failures.
My cousin is therapist. I ask her: “Why don’t schools teach mental health?”
“Because education focuses on academic success, not life success,” she says. “Tests measure knowledge of subjects, not ability to live well. System optimizes for wrong outcomes.”
She’s right. System measures what it teaches. But doesn’t teach what matters. Creates gap. Then blames individuals for gaps it created.
What should schools teach? Financial literacy. Basic economics. How money works. How to budget. How to save. How to invest. How to avoid debt traps.
Relationship skills. Communication. Conflict resolution. Emotional intelligence. How to build healthy relationships. How to recognize unhealthy ones.
Mental health. How to recognize signs. How to seek help. How to support others. How to manage stress. How to process emotions.
Practical life skills. How to cook. How to clean. How to maintain home. How to care for health. Basic adulting.
Critical thinking. How to identify misinformation. How to evaluate sources. How to think independently. How to question authority.
These matter. These serve life. These prepare for reality. But these aren’t taught. Replaced by subjects that don’t translate to daily living.
Tonight I make list. Skills I need to learn. Financial management. Relationship maintenance. Mental health awareness. Home maintenance. Health management.
Start learning. YouTube courses. Online resources. Books. Practice. Application. Real education. Self-directed. Late but necessary.
And commit: when I have children, won’t assume school teaches what matters. Will supplement. Will teach life skills. Will prepare them for reality, not just exams.
The shame lifts. Understanding arrives. I’m not inadequate. System is inadequate. I’m not failing. System failed me.
Now I’m learning. Growing. Filling gaps. Not ashamed anymore. Just learning. As should have been allowed from beginning.
Schools taught me analyze literature but not life. Solve equations but not problems. Remember history but not learn from it. Memorize facts but not develop wisdom.
These gaps aren’t my fault. But filling them is my responsibility. System failed. But I can still learn. Late education better than no education.
Tonight and forward: learning what matters. Not what tests measure. Not what curriculum requires. What life demands. What reality requires. What I actually need.
This is real education. Self-directed. Life-focused. Practical. Essential. The education schools should have provided but didn’t.
Better late than never. Better learning than shame. Better growth than embarrassment. Better wisdom than pretense.
I don’t pretend to understand compound interest anymore. I admit I don’t. Then I learn. Ask questions. Watch tutorials. Practice calculations. Until I actually understand.
Not pretending. Not ashamed. Just learning. What I should have been taught. What I’ll teach myself. What I’ll teach my children.
The education continues. Just different. Better. More relevant. More useful. More real.
What schools never taught, life is teaching. Painfully. Expensively. But effectively. And supplementing with self-education. YouTube. Books. Practice. Application.
This is real curriculum. Life skills. Practical knowledge. Essential competencies. What education should have been. What I’m making it become.
Tonight I choose learning over shame. Growth over embarrassment. Education over ignorance. Reality over pretense.
The gaps remain. But filling gradually. One skill at a time. One lesson at a time. One YouTube tutorial at a time.
What schools never taught, I’m teaching myself. Late but learning. Growing despite gaps. Becoming competent in things that matter.
This is education. Real education. The kind that serves life instead of tests. The kind that builds capability instead of credentials. The kind that matters.