I would never speak to my worst enemy the way I speak to myself. No way would I follow anyone around, pointing out flaws. Yet a voice in my head does exactly that—constantly.
“You’re not smart enough.” “You’ll fail.” “Everyone can see you’re a fraud.” “You don’t deserve happiness.” “You’re wasting your life.” These are the daily headlines printed by my internal terrorist. It insists it’s helping. In practice, it drains confidence, blocks growth, and robs peace.
A friend makes a mistake, and I’d offer grace. A beginner tries something new, and I’d cheer them on. Facing a challenge, I’d never predict disaster. But to myself, I do all three. I’ve mistaken self-criticism for self-awareness. I’ve confused mental attack with motivation.
The cruelest trick is the promise of safety. Expect the worst, says the voice, and you won’t be disappointed. Watch for failure, and you’ll avoid humiliation. Focus on limits, and you’ll stay “realistic.” That isn’t protection. It’s a cage.
If someone followed you all day saying these things, you’d call for help. You might file a report. Because the voice is internal, we treat it as truth instead of harassment.
The first step may be simple kindness. Offer your mind the care you’d give a friend. Give yourself the patience you’d show a child learning something hard. Extend compassion to the person you are—right now.
Tonight, I’m ready to fire the internal terrorist. I’m hiring an internal friend instead. This ally speaks with clarity, not condemnation. It offers support over sabotage, hope over fear. It notices the old script and chooses better words.
That’s the practice: notice, name, and choose. Not a hollow pep talk. A grounded voice that believes in growth. I don’t need to earn kindness. I need to practice it—especially in how I talk to myself.
